1-29-2011.

I am consciously making decisions to live a healthier life, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am cutting back on my smoking (which will hopefully make quitting seem like a feasible task, ugh), doing my yoga daily (so far, so good!), doing good not eating processed foods so far, and drinking lots of water and freshly made juice.
I am trying to be more productive. Instead of taking a nap, I've done two drawings, read a few chapters in my book, and am going to do homework, after I write this post.
I am going to learn how to be happy with myself, no matter what that entails. I am done being a mess. I fully believe that if I put more effort into my outside appearance, I will be happier with my inner self. Some people think that is a load of crap, but honestly...when I'm having one of those lazy days, I'll feel 20x better if I just put makeup on! So I'm going to start applying that every day. I also find the more I keep up with my tasks, the less stress there is closer to the deadline. So here's to no more procrastinating!
And also no more coffee right before bed ;)

I am doing my best to post as much as possible, but in a few weeks it might be a bit hectic. I am moving, and currently all, or at least MOST, of my possessions are in boxes and cluttering my room. It is so hard to do yoga in a 2x4 space! But the good news is that most of my pictures and things are off the walls already, so the hard part is over (:

I am reading two books right now, both of them are re-reads, but they are just that good!
-if on a winter's night a traveler, by Italo Calvino
and
-The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini. (If you haven't read this one yet, you need to stat, it's one of the best contemporary classics out there right now; most AP lit classes are now requiring it!)

This is just an all-over post, I guess. But I have a question for you guys!
Do you have any recipes you can't live without (preferably meat-free, but not necessarily)? I'm looking for some healthy dishes without sacrificing flavor. Let me know!

Today's the day.

In the past 48 hours, I've made some important decisions:

I am going to start doing yoga every morning again. Until I find a good studio it will be fairly self-directed, like it was before. Luckily I'll soon have a room big enough to really be able to relax...right now my mat is wedged in between a bed and boxes.

I am going to learn how to be comfortable with myself. I switch back and forth on how I feel about being alone- in the summer I crave it, in the winter I am torn...I am almost always alone in the winter, and yet it is never enough, but when I get enough it sends me spiraling into a depression so deep I can't be left alone at all for several days, which is what happened last weekend.

Point is, I would like to be able to tolerate myself, regardless. Maybe no sense of inner peace or stability is a contributor to this, so I'm hoping the yoga and return to writing may help. I believe another large stress factor is my mother, but all in time.

I want to go back to being a vegetarian, but not risk the iron deficiencies again. I want to do it right and would love for it to be a lifelong commitment this time around, so I've been doing a lot of research. I'm also done eating processed food and fast food.

I just got a new job at the gas station, so that's exciting. I want to do really good; and I should be living paycheck to paycheck with a little to spare for festivities. Woo! I would love to sell my car and use the money for school, but it's not in my name.

I don't know, this is just a very centered post about well-being; hopefully it's a little pickup from the last one.

-xx, E.

Time destroys everything.

This is going to be a more serious post, because this theme seems to be popping up a lot the last few days.

Take a minute and think about the last year. It either seems like it flew by in a second, or it dragged and lasted a millennium, right? And the changes that took place fill the same span...either things changed a lot, or not at all.

I think we let time rule our lives too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of it too. I often zone out, reflect on "the old days" and where they went..but it makes me feel selfish. In the last year, I failed out of university, lost a lot of friends I cared about and became very detached from everything that mattered. That's my own set of problems, though.

In the last year, my best friend has been through hell. Her mother had a stroke, which, in a way, tore my friend's entire world apart. She got pulled from school, friends she's known her whole life, her senior year. They had to move to Georgia to get help taking care of her mother. She had to leave the love of her life, and is going through another version of hell in Georgia that we don't even know about, so how am I supposed to take care of one of the most important people in my life when I don't know how?

I think we tend to forget that although time is a constant, it is also constantly changing. To keep going, we have to change with it, be flexible. We may not always like the change or where it carries us, but isn't learning a part of this life?

For your entertainment.

(The soundtrack for this post is Adam Lambert.)
I don't know when I last updated, probably Monday? But hey guys (:
Sidenote: I'm totally supposed to be either sleeping or doing homework but I got sick of reading about county charters, so here I am.
I hope you're all doing okay, because I'm wonderful. I got a few of my errands done today, turned in another application, and actually did some homework. It's amazing. I'm finally getting back into the swing of things after my two-month long winter break (I hate breaks).
I took my momma to look at the house Monday morning, she absolutely loved it. We're golden! Now if only I can come up with another $564 by March 1st...
On another note: as so often happens with the new year, I am back to my lists. I have this tendency of “getting organized” as the year changes, or at least the pretense of it, and a huge part of that is in lists. Lists of all kinds: lists of belongings, to-do lists, “to-read/ to-watch/ to-listen-to lists,” even grocery lists (which if you know anything about me, you know that when I need groceries, I tend to do it while I'm hungry-horrible mistake- and I will buy everything that sounds even remotely appealing...tonight's cravings: mashed potatoes and shrimp)!
Anyway, lists. They are beautiful, and right now there are about seven circulating throughout my room. One is a to-do list of things for today (dropping stuff off at resales, job interviews, calling schools, taking care of transfer business, cleaning, and even cleaning out my car..which, of course, didn't happen). One is a to-do list for school – map of the county, list of city council meetings I'll attend, two honors paper and getting physics notes ready for my test next week (yikes!). How much of it all have I done? Maybe two or three. Oops. My motivation in the new year is seriously lacking; hopefully the antsy feeling I'm getting is the anticipation of it all building it up and finally realizing it right before it kicks me in the ass. You know that moment, right? It's the worst.
Next stop: design, and ideas for my new room in my new house (: yes! It's an old remodeled Victorian style house in the gaslight district. Beautiful. Wood floors, dark wood in the kitchen, marble counters, ahh. My room is a sort of pastel-green color, I love it. It even sort of goes with the colors I've been obsessing over recently. I got new sheets, as well. I got these lovely teal ones (a lighter shade, not so vibrant) that go with my old comforter (I'll edit in some pics later), and then new white sheets that will look nice with my new teal quilt. I've just really been digging the teal/turquoise + white combo; it's a relaxing pair. And I've also been throwing in some pops of orange every now and then (more specifically, the coral rose mentioned on page 19 of the Winter '11 issue of Fresh Home). I'm not positive it really matches, but I absolutely love them together. It's fresh and bold, but not too bold, you know? Hopefully it looks as good in real life as it does in my mind! Plus, it'll give a rhyme and reason to that “hideous old recliner” of mine (oh, no worries, there'll be a picture of that too). Until this morning, I was worried about how it would fit into my new theme. It's this (in my mother's words) hideous orange, really a cross between puke orange and burnt sienna, I'd say. But it's the comfiest chair I've ever owned and it was going with me no matter what. I love it. There are even splashes of the coral color on my old comforter, so it all ties together perfectly. I found this old print of some bright orange flowers hanging out, sight unseen, in our guest room that is going with me. Funny how things can fall so perfectly together.

This post is already way longer than I thought it'd be, but I'm having fun.
Lately, I've been completely obsessed with interior design (in case that last paragraph didn't clue you in). I've been reading the [nest] daily (a sister company of the [knot] and the [bump]), which is awesome because it has a lot of tips, even for things like budgeting and appliance shopping, decorating for small spaces, etc.; as well as a few blogs I really love: www.decorology.blogspot.com, www.79ideas.org, and www.cococozy.com (which also just started developing and marketing a new line of CocoCozy products-can't wait to check it out once I have some disposable income!). There are more, but these are the ones I check habitually for great ideas. I went to go see my high school studio teacher today (who was an id major at DAAP) and told her about my new obsession, she was beyond thrilled. And I got invited to come help guest-teach a couple studios!
For those of you don't know, (yes, all my imaginary loyal readers, you), I am about to give you a synopsis of the life of medinaee. Here goes!
I graduated in 2009, I reside in Cincinnati, OH. When I started university, it was at University of Cincinnati as a painting major (after a lot of agonizing over whether or not that was what I really wanted, believe me). Later, rather than sooner, I figured out that while I loved it, I didn't love the idea of pursuing it for thousands of dollars a quarter, so I sort of dropped out. I took some time off and worked and thought about it and ended up here: I currently am at a community college studying Political Science and taking my core classes, trying to keep my GPA up so I can return to UC next quarter, as a Poli-Sci/ Journalism major. After that, I would love to either 1) go to law school and study civil rights law, 2) work for Human Rights Campaign, or 3) write for an advocacy paper or something like that. My backup plan for all of this is to just be happy and live a perfect life in a decent studio in some city, and open a cafe/bookstore, have my puppies and possibly become a professor. We'll see how it works out. In my spare time, I work odd jobs, continue painting, updating this blog hopelessly, ride horses and clean way too much...and go to school, of course.

I feel as though this post is way too long right now. I'm trying to take advantage of the internet on my laptop working, because I've been stuck blogging from my phone for the last couple weeks, and this is the outcome. But I'll let it go for now, before I run out of things to say.
If I don't see you soon, have a good rest of the week (so close to Friday)!
-xoxo, E.

Oh, lovelies!

It's the sixteenth of January, and here's my update.

It might be incoherent because I'm very tired and just worked a ten-hour shift, but oh well. Tomorrow is MLK Day and I'm spending it with physics and phamily.

...

Right. Job interview Tuesday, fingers crossed! Also going on a job hunt (for real this time) either tomorrow or Tuesday. Off at the House all week so that will be nice. Find out the rest of the info on my housing situation tomorrow too!

And, there might be a girl sometime soon :x

Overall things are good, and I'm writing/drawing again, it's beautiful.

-xox.

The 12th of Never.

I say that maybe a little much, but when I actually realize it's the 12th, it makes me feel a little like I've reached an imaginary destination. I'm weird, that's fine.

So I'm sitting here doing math work and attempting to understand average acceleration vectors in regard to circular motions (yeah, right), when I look up and realize I'm in the Land of Never...at least for another ten hours. And on days like this, I like to lay around drawing and pondering. NOT doing impossible homework. Oops.

Things on my mind today:

I should make a resume (which I am halfway done with!).

I should fill out the rest of these applications (eh).

I should get rid of some crap (check, just need to drop it off).

I should go talk to my old boss and beg for my job back (I'll do it tomorrow..).

Time to update the blog again! (:

And then other things, like color schemes for my first home, or how quickly it seems like life changes these days, why it feels like I got left in the dust, and why is there no coffee in this house to comfort me in my single, desparately empty life?!

But seriously...where have all the girls gone, or have I just managed to unintentionally detach myself again as winter drags on?

Life at the Epicenter

For those of you who don't know, on Foursquare, my house is designated "The Epicenter of the World." This post is going to be a brief summary of life at the Epicenter lately.
So my classes started Monday, a 12 hour day right off the bat (yay!). I woke up Tuesday morning with a nasty illness that is still going strong.
I know I said I was hoping to be able to write daily once school started. I don't know if that's going to work out. My theory was I'd have my computer and in the five-hour gap between my gov class #2 and my physics lecture, I could do a decent post. But I don't know how often I'll actually be taking my computer with me, and from the looks of it, that time will be used to complete physics homework more often than not.
I am still going to try my best though <3
While we're on the topic of physics: I am not cut out for this. I love studying it, really I do. I love electricity and relationships between scientific concepts and whatnot; I just don't get it. I've had two classes so far, and I can already tell this is going to be my hardest class, and the one I have the lowest grade in. Great.
I supposed I'm just going to have to study my little arse off to pull off that final 3.5 going into UC. Let's do this (:

-xoxo, E.