sometimes, challenges arise.
We back away, run in fear, run out of habit, run because we don't know any better.
And then, every once in a while, the challenge is something that calls us forward. Something that makes us want to be bigger than we are, because it makes us feel more alive than we ever have before.
This is that challenge.
And I am not backing away. I am not running. I will not leave, I will not hide, I will never, ever, ever go.
I love you.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Day of Silence
Today, Helix High in California is celebrating their Day of Silence. Celebrating? Observing is better, I suppose. Anyway, I'm doing it too, in support of my girlfriend. And then again Friday, when University of Cincinnati and the rest of the nation is. I don't know whether this counts or not, but I have a few notes I need to make. (So far, I've been silent. No words uttered by my lips.)
For those of you who don't know, Day of Silence is an opportunity for LGBT to stand up for the brothers and sisters of our community who have been silenced by hate crimes. There have been many, but there's always one that stands out in my mind. I don't know why; he just does. Larry King. Not the "Live with Larry King" old news guy, although I do love him. Little Larry King.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNMggq_NADg
http://www.newsweek.com/id/147790
He was a junior high student in California, shot for being gay. I don't know if the reason it bothers me so much is because Ellen Degeneres crying broke my heart, or because this kid was like, 12, and was murdered because he loved the wrong person.
Every LGBT deals with teasing, family issues, etc, just because of their sexuality. I know I have. It's gotten to the point where we have to form "alliances" just to protect ourselves in high schools, in colleges, even in the real world. We need our own centers to ensure our safety. Doesn't this seem a little drastic? It's not, though. Every precaution we take is one that is deemed unbelievably necessary, and it scares me.
For the last six years, Day of Silence and the Pride parades have been my "family holidays". They are times when I come together with those like me and can celebrate who I really am. I can't do it at home, and I can around friends, but I can only be so gay and not be put in a separate box. I don't like it, but it's what's necessary. Fuck that word. Shouldn't freedom of expression apply in every field, to every single human? Every day I am boxed into different categories. Student, female, short, artist, scientist, girlfriend, Jewish, Mexican, child from broken home, high school graduate, lesbian. Granted, I don't mind these categories; I even embrace them sometimes. But for just once, I would like to be seen as Erica Medina. That's it. Just me, myself.
This is what's on my mind today.
I can't talk to anyone, but I sure as hell can ramble on here.
So, in memory of Larry King, enjoy the silence. But don't take it as a sign we're not here, because we are. The waitress serving you food, to the man teaching your child history who dresses, maybe just a little, too good for your comfort. You know he's doing a good job, stop worrying.
Maybe one day, the world, even just the country, will see us for what we are - equal citizens.
For those of you who don't know, Day of Silence is an opportunity for LGBT to stand up for the brothers and sisters of our community who have been silenced by hate crimes. There have been many, but there's always one that stands out in my mind. I don't know why; he just does. Larry King. Not the "Live with Larry King" old news guy, although I do love him. Little Larry King.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNMggq_NADg
http://www.newsweek.com/id/147790
He was a junior high student in California, shot for being gay. I don't know if the reason it bothers me so much is because Ellen Degeneres crying broke my heart, or because this kid was like, 12, and was murdered because he loved the wrong person.
Every LGBT deals with teasing, family issues, etc, just because of their sexuality. I know I have. It's gotten to the point where we have to form "alliances" just to protect ourselves in high schools, in colleges, even in the real world. We need our own centers to ensure our safety. Doesn't this seem a little drastic? It's not, though. Every precaution we take is one that is deemed unbelievably necessary, and it scares me.
For the last six years, Day of Silence and the Pride parades have been my "family holidays". They are times when I come together with those like me and can celebrate who I really am. I can't do it at home, and I can around friends, but I can only be so gay and not be put in a separate box. I don't like it, but it's what's necessary. Fuck that word. Shouldn't freedom of expression apply in every field, to every single human? Every day I am boxed into different categories. Student, female, short, artist, scientist, girlfriend, Jewish, Mexican, child from broken home, high school graduate, lesbian. Granted, I don't mind these categories; I even embrace them sometimes. But for just once, I would like to be seen as Erica Medina. That's it. Just me, myself.
This is what's on my mind today.
I can't talk to anyone, but I sure as hell can ramble on here.
So, in memory of Larry King, enjoy the silence. But don't take it as a sign we're not here, because we are. The waitress serving you food, to the man teaching your child history who dresses, maybe just a little, too good for your comfort. You know he's doing a good job, stop worrying.
Maybe one day, the world, even just the country, will see us for what we are - equal citizens.
Friday, April 9, 2010
hiiii
I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world. You don't even understand. I love her more than Thumper loves Bambi, and need her in my life more than the moon needs the sun. For those of you who don't understand...the moon needs the sun to be visible, to "exist," in our minds. That's it; I don't have any idea how I did this before her. Everytime I hear her, or get a good morning text, my heart falls deeper and deeper. I can't even imagine ever sitting in a chair ever again.
I think the strangest thing is that it's only been a week. It's moved so fast and changed so much that it's morphed into this entirely new thing that no one's ever felt or seen before.
I don't understand it at all, but I wouldn't ever change it.
Anyway, we created a joint youtube for dumb days when video chat doesn't work...it's anaanderica. Go forth :)
-Erica
I think the strangest thing is that it's only been a week. It's moved so fast and changed so much that it's morphed into this entirely new thing that no one's ever felt or seen before.
I don't understand it at all, but I wouldn't ever change it.
Anyway, we created a joint youtube for dumb days when video chat doesn't work...it's anaanderica. Go forth :)
-Erica
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